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The Patty Perfect Story
*The Real Story*
By Margaret Black
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Patty dimly hears the children banging around in
the kitchen and with
a start she wakes and looks at the clock. Oh no it was 7:00 am
already! The baby had been up several times in the night, he was
teething (again). She wraps her tattered bathrobe around her saggy
baggy body and rushes into the kitchen to make breakfast.
After making each child an egg and toast, (Judy's has to have the yolk
broken and Georgy wants his scrambled) she trots back into the
bedroom to rescue the howling baby from his awful prison (the crib).
She snuggles him warmly despite the fact that he is obviously a
defective model. Model babies don't wake up drenched in urine even
though he was diapered in the most high tech disposable diaper
available. She manages to get him changed into dry clothes and puts
him in the arms of the oldest child while she slaps together peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches in between frantic searches for shoes,
homework and backpacks. She writes a note on a brown paper sack to
excuse one child from school a few days before when he was sick and
just as the bus pulls up calls everyone together for a (quick) family
prayer.
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She rescues the baby again from the dubious care of her three year
old who was spooning dry chocolate milk mix into the delighted baby's
mouth. She gets the baby fed and swabs at the highchair which little
Mary has artistically daubed with egg yolk and toast bits. Then
bundles all three of the youngest into the bathtub for a merry game
of get mommy drenched. That's okay though because since dear hubby
left 10 minutes ago the chances of Patty getting a real shower are
practically nil with five preschoolers around. The phone rings and
Patty gets the children out of the tub where they run around happily
naked while she agrees to take little reminders for homemaking
meeting around her neighborhood. She interrupts little Jason and
Jordan's contest and finds Nancy dressing Mary and the baby up
in toilet paper. Finally having all the children dressed and herself
dressed in sweats and her hair pulled back into a pony tail she loads
all five children up in strollers, backpacks and leashes to take a
walk around the neighborhood. Jason and Jordan volunteer to tape the
little messages onto the doors and Patty sincerely hopes that the
sisters will see the flyers down at knee level.
Back at home she takes a few minutes to read a Book of Mormon story
to the children. Jordan and Jason love this one, they like the part
where Ammon whacks off the arms of the bad guys. They run shrieking
around the room pretending to be Ammon. The baby watches fascinated
and Mary and Nancy cry. Patty spends a few fruitless minutes picking
up toys, baby socks and books while the children watch Barney. She
finds herself mesmerized by the I love you song. She decides to bake
cookies while the baby has his morning nap (which lasts for 20
minutes). They have an entertaining time making many different sizes
and shapes of chocolate chips cookies. Mary needs another bath.
The door bell rings, it is Patty's visiting teachers. She had
forgotten they were coming but figures they were here to see her and
not her house. She was mistaken but that's okay, they didn't stay
long. By then it was time for the 3:00 panic when she realizes that
in just a few hours 11 people were going to want dinner. She
frantically looks through the freezer to find that magical package
that says, "here I am cook me." It is missing so instead she
improvises and comes up with a dinner that for once everyone loves.
Pity she didn't write it down.
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After the dish washing war gets sorted out Patty escapes for a
luxurious 10 minute bath only accompanied by one baby. It was heaven.
As they have family scripture study after applying bungee cords to
children ages 2 through 6 she gets misty eyed as she remembers the
days when she had time to practice cello and had time to take a walk
or exercise. But as the warm and sleepy baby snuggles in her lap and
all 9 of the others file by to wish her a good night and collect
their hug and kiss, she decides it is a fair trade. Her husband
smiles and takes her hand just before he heads out the door for
bishopric meeting. And she says a quiet prayer of gratitude and
appeal for strength to be the mom tomorrow too!
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